Turtles in Time: Reshelled Review

Time for a nostalgia bomb. Imagine you're back in 1991 and presumably below the age of twelve. The 80s are dying away, with only remnants of fades and teased hair, Metallica and Run DMC, and other cultural miscellany left as the new 90s subcultures arise. But there is one thing that has remained strong until now: the arcade. You are not horsing around outside or doing other typical kid stuff. You are surrounded by teenage sweat and pizza grease in a dark place lit by flickering monitors and neon. There is something in your pocket that burns a hole and screams to be devoured by these bright, loud machines. Clink clank as you feed the machine and are greeted by only the most bodacious of surfer slang.

The place? The arcade. The thing? Your hard-earned quarter. The slang? Cowabunga!

The game? The sequel to one of the hottest arcade beat 'em ups ever: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time. If you were anything like me as a child, you were swept up in both Turtlemania and the allure of the arcade and there was nothing better than pouring your coin into this badass cabinet. Four player co-op through your most beloved franchise? What could be sweeter?

Perhaps a remake to bring back all those arcade feelings? It has been said that online play is the console equivalent of the arcade environment, and I believe XBLA has been the haven for old school style revival. Thus, from Ubisoft Singapore comes TMNT: Turtles in Time Reshelled, a full 3D remake of the original classic. So what's changed?

Most apparent is the graphical overhaul. The game is beautifully rendered in 3D, and the visuals are certainly Reshelled's greatest aspect. All the environments are bright and colorful and very evocative of a comic book. The dark, neon glow of Big Apple, 3 A.M. or the various candy-colored foot soldiers really make the game eye-popping and vibrant, and the redone attack and enemy animations and the large sound effect bubbles really enhance the cartoony feel. Fans will gush over seeing their favorite characters redone in the 3D models and the wonderful new concept art. The music has also been redone, and while the remixes are nice, they lack the charm and catchiness of their original MIDI counterparts. The game also features new voiceover work by the cast of the 2003-Present TMNT television show, complete with original lines such as the ever-infuriating "MY TOE! MY TOE!" (You know what I mean and you know that made you rage as a kid.)

For better or for worse, however, the gameplay remains almost completely unchanged. There are a couple tweaks. The turtles now have their own unique stats (Don still has the longest reach, don't worry) and have the ability to signal their location on the screen at the push of the button, clearing up the old "where the hell am I?" confusion during co-op. As the game is rendered in full 3D, the combat is also now three-dimensional. This means players no longer have to adhere to the beat 'em up staple of remaining on the exact same plane as an enemy in order to hit them and allows players to pincer attack bosses from all angles. It's a small change, but really serves to freshen up the beat 'em up formula. Unfortunately, as exceptionally as the original game has been served up on a gleaming silver platter, it's still just the original game. A survival mode and four difficulties have been added, but the game is virtually unchanged. Ubisoft had the opportunity to pull a Zero Mission and do a truly impressive remake, replete with additional levels, characters (perhaps Karai of the original comics and most recent film), modes of play...or maybe just the ability to play the original version of the game (a bizarre and criminal exclusion). Instead, we've just received the exact same game, which is a shame considering how good the new engine is. Hopefully Ubisoft sees fit to use the same engine to make a completely brand new TMNT beat 'em up for XBLA.

The value of this game will really depend on the individual. The game does feature both local and online co-op, but the game is frightfully short and replayability will depend on your love for the franchise and the genre as a whole. The game goes for only $10, so if you loved the original or the TMNT franchise in general, the game is certainly worth downloading. Plop down with three friends and a large pizza and relive some glory days.

However, if you don't find yourself saying, "Why the hell isn't Slash the boss of Prehistoric Turtlesaurus anymore" or "Boy, Baxter Stockman makes a better nerdy Jew than a psychotic black guy," this game probably isn't for you.

Final Score: 7.8